कोई साल भर हो गया कुछ नहीं लिख पाए । कुछ तो ज़िंदगी की मुस्रुफियत कुछ गूगल में रद्दो बदल ने ब्लॉग ही गुम  कर दिया था।
आज खोजते खोजते मिला । पर   फॅमिली वेब साईट बनायी थी वोह तो अब भी नहीं मिली। ऐसा लग रहा है जैसे कोई पुराना फी मिल गया जिससे बात करने को जी चाहता है । इस बीच सारे दांत निकल गए और शकल से ही उम्र का अहसास होने लग गया । वैसे भी शकल  से अब कुछ फरक महसूस होने लगा है । मसलन मेरा सबसे बड़ा शौक़ वाएओलिन बजाना । पहले हुड़क होती थी, अब कभी कभी लगता है टालो फिर बजायेंगे । फिर कुछ करने को न हो तो एक वोही ज़रिया है वक़्त काटने का । लगता है जिस्म के साथ साथ दिमाग भी सुस्त होता जा रहा है और आदत में खाली पड़े रहना शुमार होता जा रहा है । वैसे काम  बोहोत हैं करने को । मसलन उम्र भर जो कागज़ इकट्ठे किये थे के कुछ तकनीकी काम करेंगे वोह अब सब बेकार हो गए हैं । डाटा अपडेट करने के लिए जितने बैठने की ज़रुरत है उतना बैठ पाना मुश्किल लगता है सो उन को रद्दी में दे देना ही बेहतर है । पर टांड  पर से उतारे कौन। इसी तरह, शौक में कंपनी शरेस खरीदे थे श्रीमती ने, अब उनके बाद डिविडेंड बेकार जा रहा है क्योंकी उनके खाते में जमा नहीं होता । तो अपने नाम  में तब्दील कराना  अलग मशक्कत है। फिर भी थोडा थोडा शुरू किया तो और न जाने कितने कागजात इकट्ठे करने है साथ में । मतलब वक़्त गुज़रता जा रहा है काम हो नहीं रहा है। फिर बहाना  बन जाता है न करने का। शुक्र है कंप्यूटर है जो चाहे लिखो पढो बजाओ और चाहे  जब  मिटा दो चुटकियो में । और टैब  और मोबाइल भी है। अच्छी चीज़ें बनाई  बुढ़ापे के लिए । वक़्त अच्छा कट जाता है ।
फिर भी न जाने क्यों घूम फिर कर अकेलापन  ही लगता है ।

प्रेसिडेंट ओबामा हिंदुस्तान आ गए कल। जब उनका इलेक्शन हुआ था तो अमरीका में ही था। उनका भाषण उस वक़्त बहोत उत्साहित करने वाला था। अब यहाँ अमरीका के हित में व्यापार वर्धन के लिए आये हैं। जैसा भारतीय चरित्र है, ज़्यादातर लोग उनका स्वागत करने में उत्साहित हैं और अचरज से उनके लवाजमे को देख रहे हैं। मुझे तो एक बातलगती है, ऐसा क्या नेता जो डर के मारे हजारों की फौज के घेरे में घुमने निकले। वीर सांघवी ने सही लिखा है के यह उम्मीद करना की वो पकिस्तान को कोई डाट लगाएं गे या हिन्दुस्तान को पाकिस्तान जितनी सैनिक सहायता दे जायेंगे सोचना गलत होगा। वोह हिंदुस्तान में अमरीका के लिए एक तरह से मदद मागने आये हैं - व्यापार इस तरह बढाने की उनके देश में रोज़गार बढे। अब यह हमारी अक्ल पर मुनस्सर है के हम अपना भी फायदा कर लेते हैं या उनके माया जाल में फँस कर पहले जैसे अंग्रेजों ने किया था के व्यापार की इजाज़त देते देते देश की आजादी ही सौंप बैठे। डीआर डी ओ के लिए होने वाले समझौते में जो शर्ते रक्खी जा रही हैं - एक टी वी चैनल ने मसौदा दिखाया था - जिसके तहत डिफेन्स मंत्रालय में अमरीकी अफसर बैठेंगे नज़र रखने के लिए यह तो उसी तरह की बात होगी जैसे अंग्रेजों ने भारतीय राजाओं के यहाँ अँगरेज़ रेसिडेंट कमिश्नर रखे थे और बाद में तरह तरह के कानून बना कर अंत में राज करने लगे। मेरे ख्याल से भारत सरकार यू एन ओ में परमानेंट सीट के चक्कर में बहोत ढील न दे तो ही भला होगा। चीन का उदहारण सामने है । किसी ने क्या बिगाड़ लिया उनका। हमको भी अपना हित ध्यान में रख कर ही कुछ करना चैहिये - बहोत ज्यादा भरोसा या दरियादिली बेवकूफी होगी।

बहोत दिन के बाद लिखने की इच्छा हुई। ख़ास तौर से इसलिए की अब हिंदी में भी लिख सकते हैं। पिछले महीने और इस महीने में देश में दो ख़ास मुद्दे खूब उछले , एक बाबरी मस्जिद मामले पर फैसला और दूसरा कामन वेल्थ खेल। दोनों मामलों में अंत भला ही रहा।
बाबरी मस्जिद मामले में टिप्पणियों में कुछ पत्रकारों की इस बात पर की उस जगह को राम जन्म भूमि होने का कोई सबूत नहीं है कुछ अजब सा लगा। भारत की संस्कृति आस्था विश्वास समभाव और सद्भाव पर आधारित रही है। कागज़ ना होने के कारण सारी विद्या सूचना आदि मौखिक प्रसारण द्वारा ही होती थी । शायद इसलिए त्रेता युग की बातें भी मौखिक प्रसरण होते होते आस्था और विश्वास में परिणित हो गयीं. क्या वेदों की मूल प्रति उपलब्ध है ? फिर उस पर कैसे विश्वास है की वेद प्राचीनतम कृतियाँ हैं। ऐसे ही राम के जन्मा स्थान होने का यही सबूत है के पीढी दर पीढी यही माना गया । मेरी समझ में यह सूडो आधुनिकता है के अगर किसी बारे में भौतिक प्रमाण न हो तो उसको पुरी तरह नकार दिया जाय । सदियों से चला आया विश्वास ही उसका प्रमाण है। पर लगता है वोटों की राजनीती के कारण लोग अर्केओलोगिक सुर्वे ऑफ़ इंडिया द्वारा उस स्थान पर प्राचीन इमारत दबी होने को भी नकार रहे हैं। ईशा क्या प्रमाण है की उस ईमारत को बनाने के लिए पूर्वस्थापित इमारत जो हो सकता है राम भवन ही रहा हो, को ध्वस्त नहीं किया गया।
कामन वेल्थ खेल तो भली प्रकार निबट गए। पर यही लगता है की जिन महानुभावों ने बाद में कमरकस कर स्थिति संभाली वे शुरू में ही क्यों नहीं उतरे स्थिति समभलने को। शयद इसलिए की फिर उनको वाहवाही तब कम मिलती। पैंतरेबाजी।

Nostalgia

Sometimes watching little children is not only amusing but also enlightening too. Today I saw from my terrace two children between ages of 5-6 years returning from school. One was with , probably his grandpa. His grandpa asked him something about his shoes. It appeared from his walk that the shoe was a bit loose or was pinching. He looked up to his grandpa, and said in an elated tone, " see this was Pinky Didi's shoe, she gave it to Rosy and then I got it" And they had gone out of my sight. It reminded me of my childhood when I would look up to a dress or a pair of shoe of my elder brother wondering when I would acquire it. At that age, it was the beauty of the thing that attracted and not whether one got it new or used. Following behind was a lonely child again one returning from school. He was kicking a pebble, and I am sure would take it right to his doorstep as I used to, when my elder brother on way back home from school would prefer to walk silently. I still wonder why my brother on way back from school was often sulking and shut me up when ever I attempted to start a conversation to break the monotony of walking. Then I too had found this hobby of kicking a pebble on the way right upto home. Once while doing that I collided with a telephone pole and bang the sound made me look here and there, I realised what had happened only when I saw my brother holding my head and saying can't you see whats in front of you when walking.
One can find trivial things to engage and entertain oneself like children are able - like they could stand up and watch two stray dogs figting on the road side, when returning from school, and hooting the aggressive one and encouraging the other to buck up.
It is the ability to enjoy life as a neutral observer that is perhaps the secret of happiness children muster themselves if allowed to be on their own instincts.

It is makarsankranti to day. The day when the sun starts becoming uttarayan - shifting over to the northern hemisphere. In our family tradition is to have khichri of black urad dal,i.e., black urad dal and rice mixed. In the days of mother and grand-mother, even Shakuntala did the same - preparations of Til and gur were made, and a handful of khichdi, till laddoos, mooli, ghee and gur was given to the needy मनसने के बाद In Rajasthan, particularly Jaipur the day is celebrated as a kite festival. Everyone irrespective of age and sex is seen on roof tops flying or looting kites whole day, and dry food like churma baati punch koota pakoris til preparations are eaten on site of kite flying not to loose a minute of Sunshine. It is a festival of collective merry making of the return of warmer times to come!
Being alone, and also due to age, I watched neighbours' children running helter skelter flying or looting kites. sent me into reveries of past when we as young and later my children used do the same and me and Shakuntala had perforce to participate in trying to teach them how to fly a kite, or to snatch one cut by someone. When I was a school going boy, kite flying was not approved by parents. We would enjoy the auspices of friends to enjoy the sport. Later when my youger brothers came of that age somehow parents' attitude mellowed but still with much restriction lest we fall while only looking at kites and moving about on the roof. Inspite of all those restrictions we would sneak up. Once Virendra fell and hurt his chest. In the evening he was almost unconsciouIs. We had to tell father. Fortunately our tutor who came in the evening seeing the condition brought homeopathic medicine, which relieved him in a short time. I am reminded of how morose and unlucky I would deem myself when others had more kites than I could loot. When my son was around 5-6 years of age he saw in the neighbourhood a kite flown with a candle atop, he raised a huge tantrum, so much so that in the evening when it had become dark we had to go the kite shop and get one, but when could not fly it, we had to take him back to the kite shop for the shopwallah to fly it and hand it to him. This time in winter vacation his kite gear was used by my daughters son and daughter.
How times have changed. It is a sad day too. Jitendra passed away on this day. He was among us siblings the best sportsman, be it cricket or kite flying. May his soul get eternal peace.

July and August are the months of rainy season which is very important for the country as most of our population is still dependent on agriculture for their living. Nature seems to open up creativity all around with growth of plants, sowing of crops, and in many other ways recycling of life seems to start. In this season I have always had the urge to paint or play my violin or sing. At the same time somehow the season also rings up a sort of nervousness inside. I am reminded of the time when after a long dreary summer vacation this is the time when schools reopened creating a flutter in the stomach at the thought of new faces of teachers and students alike, in the school or college. Memories of school days when we would deliberately get soaked in rain so that the Headmaster may ask us to go back home as we were likely to get sick, going on long cycling trips on holidays, having musical soirées in College, going out seeking a shelter under the trees to paint on spot a landscape in Dehradun, or just going out in a heavy downpour in knee deep rain water on the roads to the Coffee House, or in later life at Jaipur to go out on a long drive in rain which Shakuntala loved, come cascading with a mixture of emotions scintillating or saddening.
This season also starts a series of celebrations, raksha bandhan and janama ashtami being the main festivals. These festivals evoke memories of jubilation when remembering celeberations we had in chidhood or even later. But in recent years these days have got associated with very sad memories. Babuji, my father passed away in July 1968. Around a fortnight before the Raksha Bandhan, like every sister in India, Shakuntala would make rounds of the market selecting Raakhis for her brothers, writing letters, addressing enevelopes and packing them with roli chawal and raakhis. The sad memory of this day now is that Om Bhai Sahab, her immediate elder brother passed away a day before raksha bandhan and her rakhi reached there later. Some years later her only surviving brother too passed away around this time and her raakhi could not be tied by him as he was too ill. Later a day before Janam ashtami, Shakuntala left us for the heavens.
This season has thus become पावस ऋतू more than a season of festivals.

HT Correspondent's interview of Mohan Bhagwat RSS Chief in the issue of today 7th June '09 revived memories of RSS in the period 1940-47 when I as a student of class VII used to visit a Shakha in Aryanagar, Kanpur which was started by one Mr Sontake and Atal -Behari Bajpai। Both these gentlemen were students of SD College, Kanpur. Both were fired with enthusiasm for discipline - अनुशासन - among the student community. They were pracharaks or shikshaks, I do not know the hierarchic position they had those days. Physical fitness, social responsibility, hygiene, awareness of our heritage and culture were empahsised, through games (necessarily indigenous games like Kabaddi, kho kho etc.), talking about historical places, heroes like Maharana Pratap, Shivaji, Bhagat Singh, Azad etc., and respect for teachers, parents, and elders in the family. Never was politics discussed except probably in commune seminars - बौद्धिक - held for adult senior members. The remarks of Mr. Bhagwat that politics is not the business of RSS is therefore welcome. It is indeed necessary that organization like the RSS should concentrate on building up civic responsibility, disciplined social ethic . Only talking of the past glory of the nation or of religious supremacy does not take us any where. Religion should be something to be practiced at privately and even in the past religious bigotry and fanaticism was never the hallmark of Hinduism. RSS was started for social reform and nation building. That should remain its business. If RSS has a hold on the BJP it should be exercised to ensure that leaders who are really secular hold positions of responsibility in that organization.